Holiday Content Deadline and End of Year Fun!
It’s the final count down!
HAPPY DECEMBER BELLADONNAS AND FRIENDS! We’ve got some end-of-year announcements, so tune in below!
1. December 15, 2023 is the deadline to get in any holiday pieces you want considered!
We ❤️ holiday pieces! But if you have any holiday-specific pieces you want published in December/for New Year’s, please send them to us by December 15, 2023! December 15th is the deadline, because…
2. …we’re taking an end-of-year break!
We won’t be responding to any submissions from December 16th until January 1st. However, OUR INBOX WILL STILL BE OPEN! So send in those submissions if you’ve got some perfect January pieces, but note that you won’t hear from us until after the New Year if you submit after December 15th.
3. We’ve got some fun stuff planned for the end of the year!
We’re planning on doing an End of Year countdown of most-clapped-for pieces of 2023! So we encourage you to share your Belladonna pieces on socials if you published this year. If you share it and tag us, we’ll retweet it! Anddddd, we’ll also be doing an Editor’s Pick countdown! You can check out all of this on social media later this month. It’s going to be a blast, and we can’t wait to revisit so many of the great pieces that were published this past year!
4. Thank you for submitting to and reading The Belladonna this year!
We wouldn’t be here without our fantastic and hysterically funny writers, and our amazing and devoted readers. We appreciate all of you and can’t wait to see what we can do together in 2024.
THE LATEST ON THE BELLADONNA COMEDY:
It’s Me, Your Rose Quartz 40-Ounce Stanley Cup By Katy Luxem
I have a big ol’ straw and I can hold your hydration, or an entire bottle of wine, or 14 pumpkin spice lattes…
If Cosmetic Companies Were Represented By Famous Women From History By Kyrie Gray
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s virgin blood.
How Many Health Industry Professionals Does It Take to Get Life-Saving Medical Equipment By Susan Sassi
Seriously, I need the answer.
Anti-capitalist Annotations to “Work Bitch” by Britney Spears By Alyson D’Lando
You better work, bitch (I already told you, I am employed full time.)
Lessons from the Animal Kingdom on How to Survive the Office By Lynn I. Hsu
Your booming keystrokes will command respect
An Honest Period Tracking App By madie dhaliwal
Today, an invisible Vitamix pulverizes your uterus to human smoothie.
Hey Little Lady, Did You Know You Just Made A Joke? By Erin A Ross
The audience laughing was probably just a coincidence.
When to go to the Emergency Room* By Sharon Moran
With limited capacity in our hospital’s emergency room, we need you — our patients — to dial it back a little bit.
An Imagined Conversation Alexa and Siri Have About Me Behind My Back By Susan Sassi
An example of how I project my social anxiety onto inanimate objects.
Nine Simple Rules for Watching My Beloved Cat Who is Definitely Not a Living Terror By Kelli Huggins
Like I told you before, he’s super low maintenance and won’t give you any trouble.
Top-Secret Messages About Curly Hair-care, Declassified By Erica Lies and Kerry Elson
After 5-minutes, this message will disintegrate into replenishing overnight hair serum.
Top Ten Sex Dreams I’ve Had About Toy Story’s Duke Caboom By Liz Lydic
He puts my hand on his crotch. It’s harder than plastic.
Musical Theatre, by Autocorrect, Act 2 By Elizabeth Lee and Summerlin Webb
From “Jesus Christ Superstore” to “Hello, Dobby!”
FAQ About my Family’s Eastern European Immigrant Style Thanksgiving By Viktoria Shulevich
We’ll serve typical holiday dishes like Borscht.
Hell Yeah! How to Prep For Another Tedious Expat Thanksgiving Abroad By Kat García
The most important thing at this moment is preserving my relationship with this 55-year-old man covered in meat blood.
2023 Themed Turkey Trot Costumes By Alyson D’Lando
If none of these are quite your thing you could always just watch the trot from the sidelines and cheer everyone else on or maybe even just stay home and watch the parade on TV like a normal person?
If You Give Seth From Advertising An Unmuted Microphone By Claire Myree
Seeing you respond “thanks!” to his email, will remind him of how deserving he is of thanks.
Ladies Who Munch: Girl Dinner Recipes From the Literary Canon By Margaret Girouard
To be eaten alone in your room whilst fantasizing about your eccentric employer. Ignore howls from the attic. It’s totally fine.
Helpful TripAdvisor Reviews of the Prado Art Museum in Madrid By Viktoria Shulevich
Really nice toilets but an expensive entry fee.
What I’m Pretty Sure Would Happen If I Wore White Pants By Lily Hirsch
Spaghetti? Really?!?
Thank You For Your Application, But We’ve Decided to Go in Another Direction By Jill Bennett
Because you couldn’t do me the simplest courtesy.
A Baby Name Consultant in the 1990s By Rachel Marsh
Might I suggest “Emily”?
Things That Have Been Said To Me During Sex That Were Also Feedback Comments On My PhD By Alice Wilson
Not the conclusion I was hoping for
Bisexual Girls: the Board Game! By Allison Ristaino
Now you can experience life as a bisexual woman right from the comfort of your own home!
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And if you’ve been published in The Belladonna before, you can join our Slack Writers’ Room — just email us at thebelladonnacomedy@gmail.com and we’ll add you!
Thanks for reading, and keep being your amazing selves!
— The Belladonna Editors
(Emily, Emily, Heidi, and Kristen)
