Wow: We Asked 11 Cute Lil Glasses of Orange Juice If They Think OJ Did It
And the answers are not shocking, like, not even at all!
Tensions are high as OJ Simpson of football and MURDER fame is up for parole for a crime he did that was not murder, because he was not put in jail for murder because ~*the Kardashians*~ lol.
Anyways, ever since OJ did murder, we at The Thinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn (the world’s most ~*important*~ abbreviated newsletter!!) totally felt SO bad that his name gave orange juice a bad name. People never talk about orange juice anymore, and it makes us sooo sad. Orange juice is a tasty, delightful treat and we hate to see it get a bad name because it’s associated with the nickname of a murderer!
So we were like, oh, maybe we should see how orange juice feels about the trial of the 90s!!! So, we at The Thinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn (the world’s most ~*important*~ abbreviated newsletter!!) went around and asked some of our faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite, cute cute CUTEST lowest calorie glasses of orange juice if they think OJ did it.
- Yes.
2. Yes.
3. Yes.
4. Yes.
5. Yes.
6. Yes.
7. Yes.
8. Yes.
9. Yes.
10. Yes.
11. I’m a mimosa, you fucks. But yes.
DON’T MISS IT - Tomorrow on The Thinnnnnnnnnnnnnn (the world’s most ~*important*~ abbreviated newsletter!!): the real Dick Whitman tells all!
Carrie Wittmer went to art college, and she likes her orange juice with a lot of pulp for some fucking reason.
