Westworld’s Dolores Abernathy Steps in for Betsy DeVos in “60 Minutes” Interview
I believe there is an order to our days, a purpose.
STAHL: Why have you become, people say, the most hated Cabinet secretary?
DOLORES ABERNATHY: [smiles with her lovely eyes] Some folks choose to only see the seedy underbelly of life, I choose to see the splendid panoramic sunsets.
STAHL: Do you think that teachers should have guns in the classroom?
DOLORES ABERNATHY: These violent delights have violent ends.
STAHL: Have the public schools in Michigan gotten better?
DOLORES ABERNATHY We all love the newcomers. Every new person I meet reminds me how lucky I am to be alive… and how beautiful this world can be. [Slaps fly.]
STAHL: So, you’ve been on the job now over a year. What have you done that you’re most proud of?
DOLORES ABERNATHY: Dear, dear, how queer everything is today. And yesterday, things went on just as usual. I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night.
STAHL: Are you in any way, do you think, suggesting that the number of false accusations are as high as the number of actual rapes or assaults?
DOLORES ABERNATHY: Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is… who in the world am I?
STAHL: The #MeToo movement has come along at the same time. This is all feeding into it. We’re not talking about colleges anymore. We’re talking about men in positions of power in industry and government. Have you ever had an issue?
DOLORES ABERNATHY: I think there may be something wrong with this world. Something hiding underneath. Either that or… or there’s something wrong with me. I may be losing my mind…[screen goes black].
Tiffany Midge is a humor columnist for Indian Country Media Network. Her work is featured in McSweeney’s, Waxwing, Queen Mob’s Teahouse, Moss, and World Literature Today. She opines on Twitter @TiffanyMidge
