Very Honest Author Bios
Her prime motivation in life is to exceed the expectations of the person who once referred to her writing as “pedantic.”
Duchess Charmin considers herself a successful entrepreneur, viral vlogger, and was crowned “Kween of TikTok” by a BuzzFeed poll sponsored by her mom’s venture capital company. When leaked financial records revealed that Duchess’s luxury lifestyle is funded by the Charmin Family Toilet Tissue fortune, her social media following jumped to 83 million, resulting in a lucrative book deal. Proud Nepo Baby is her debut book and is a semi-autobiographical account of the hardships experienced through the eyes of a toiletry heiress.
Chris Haily resides in Boring, Oregon, and friends joke this is the most interesting fact about them, HA HA HA HA! With 0 reader engagement on Medium.com despite posting daily for the past six months, Chris is utilizing the rest of this bio for a UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY: Do you want to get PAID to READ? If you Follow @Daily_Haily84, Respond (minimum three posts) and Clap (minimum three posts), send an invoice to PayPal @BoringOrHaily and receive $9.99 INSTANTLY!
Amanda Jeffrey is a satirist who cries whenever she writes. She finds writing to be a soul-crushing endeavor because she puts her mind, spirit, and funny bone into this work, only to receive form rejections. Worse, after skimming Stephen King’s On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft which absolutely does not recommend aspiring writers to quit their day jobs, she quit her day job. Amanda finally published an article this month for $30! However, considering her laptop died yesterday, she’s earned a total -$2,156.91 from writing.
masonjar97 is a commentator of internet comments and recently released a genre-defying political noir zine of their Top 10 Twitter comments. they will not follow you back on any social media accounts.
Jodi Edgars is a pop culture list writer from Los Angeles and lives with her two emotional support dogs, Tegan and Sara. She was once thrown out of a drag brunch for having “too much hype” but continues her allyship to the LGBTQ+ community from afar, mostly in the form of binging RuPaul’s Drag Race. Her celebrity crush is and will forever be Taylor Swift. Her reality crush is the Lists Editor at work, and they’ve been texting GIFs for weeks :)
Bryant Collins is a travel writer from Seattle, Washington, though he considers himself a citizen of the world, though the rest of the world would prefer him to stay home. Bryant unapologetically seeks out the most extreme, adrenaline junkie experiences. He is responsible for the tragic deaths of three unfortunate bystanders from his recent nude fireworks motorcycle race in Thailand. The Naked Man’s Pursuit, his gritty account of irresponsible tourism, is narrated by Joe Rogan and is available on Kindle.
Sasha Howard is an award-winning essayist and a regular contributor of The New Yorker. Her prime motivation in life is to exceed the expectations of the person who once referred to her writing as “pedantic.” When she isn’t writing edgy, thought-provoking critiques, Sasha spends her time rocking back and forth in her dimly lit apartment while eerily chanting the name of her grad school nemesis.
J. is a poet and originally from Northern California
J. now lives in
the Present
His latest collection is a
new interpretation
(some say duplication)
of
Audre Lorde
Amanda Gorman
Joy Harjo
His work/is not plagiarism/because Race/Gender are constructs
J. is also a construct
that he
redefines Constantly.
Katherine Shaw (she/her) is a writer living in the Pacific Northwest despite her ample serial killer anxiety. Published in The Belladonna Comedy, Points in Case, Slackjaw, Jane Austen’s Wastebasket, Greener Pastures Magazine, and more. Catch her latest oddities on Twitter/IG @daclassybiatch.
Read more from Katherine on The Belladonna:
