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Spring Forward, Fall Back, Give Up, Lie Down

Alice H. Lahoda
The Belladonna Comedy
4 min readNov 5, 2021

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This weekend, don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour and resist the urge to hibernate until spring.

And if you’re looking for some advice to deal with the winter depression blues, read on:

LAST WEEK ON THE BELLADONNA

Image by the author via Canva PRO

Now Selling: The Haunted House Of Your Dreams! by Rebecca Flynn

“It may act as a limbo for those who have yet to cross over, but there is no mold!”

You All Mocked My Hooded Pink Jumpsuit, But Thanks to Squid Game, Who’s Laughing Now? by Janna Layton

“Halloween is approaching, and guess what’s sold out everywhere? That’s right: pink hooded jumpsuits.”

Welcome To My Haunted House For Cats by Alice H. Lahoda

“Allow me to show you around my mansion of feline horrors.”

How to Manage the Symptoms of PMS (Possession by Malevolent Spirits) by Matilda Epstein

“‘Cause we all know your inner avatar is Lizzo, not Beelzebub the avenging devil of the underworld!”

Where Are All The Workers? Livin’ It Up In The Hamptons, Baby! by Lisa Cowan

“The government sent us $4,000 and I knew I’d never have to work again.”

Daily Itinerary Of A Vampire Sick Of Dating Teenage Girls by Hannah Byron

“I find that I am no longer comfortable pursuing relationships with underage girls.”

Dear Ghost I Just Started Dating, I’m Sorry I “Mortaled” You by Caroline Chen

“That thing ghosts do when they pretend they can’t see you or your messages.”

Revered Misogynist Painter Seeks New Muse by Gwen Coburn

“Listen, I’m not the only painter who likes younger muses.”

EDITORS EXPLAIN: Not giving up!

Everybody has a day or week (or month or even year) when writing is like pulling teeth. This is NORMAL. Every writer goes through it! No one whips out piece after piece without hitting some road blocks whether it’s a rejection, negative feedback, or anything else that makes you question your work. It’s part of the process and you, too, will get through it!

Switch up your process if you’re feeling stuck. If your piece got rejected, join a writing group or feedback group and get a second look at it and do some rewriting if you feel up to it.

Rejections can be tough, especially with such a vulnerable art that is writing. But remember, everyone gets them. Really, everyone! So don’t be hard on yourself. Take it as an opportunity to read your piece through a new lens.

Writing is subjective. While it’s important to be open to feedback from other writers, not everyone’s going to love your idea. Maybe it wasn’t their type of humor. Maybe it didn’t fit in with a certain pub’s voice. It’s impossible to please everyone!

Writer’s block? Read! Read books, read articles, read other satire pieces. Try a new approach to writing. Set a timer for 5–10 minutes and write as many things down as possible, and work new ideas off that. And take breaks when you need them!

The great thing about writing is it will always be there for you. You can always come back to it! Once a writer, always a writer. Also, it’s the cheapest hobby we can think of, so no need to feel bad about hoarding any yarn/paints/potting soil/mid-life-crisis motorcycle/etc.

Keep writing, everyone! We love hearing from you and reading your work. We want to see you succeed and so does the rest of this community.

TIPS FOR MANAGING SEASONAL DEPRESSION

Ashley Chen: Eat enough food, cool down your body temperature, and drop your heart rate to 5 beats per minute. This remedy is called hibernation.

Emily Kapp: Fall to peer pressure and finally buy The Lamp; become a person that tells everyone to buy The Lamp on every mental health-related Twitter thread for the next 5 months.

Alice H. Lahoda: Simply give up. Give in to the depression; there’s no use fighting it. See y’all in the spring!

Heidi Lux: Vitamin D (not dick (or maybe dick?))

Kristen Mulrooney: Fake your own death and then watch your funeral from the rafters at the church and listen to all the lovely things people have to say about you now that you’re ‘gone’ 😉

FINAL THOUGHTS

Follow The Belladonna on Twitter and Instagram!

And if you’ve been published in The Belladonna before, you can join our Slack Writers’ Room — just email us at thebelladonnacomedy@gmail.com and we’ll add you!

Thanks for reading, and keep being your amazing selves!

— The Belladonna Editors
(Brooke, Fiona, Ashley, Emily, Alice, Heidi, and Kristen)

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