Real* German Words That Describe Our Mixed Feelings About the End of Lockdown
From the language that brought you words like “Schadenfreude,” here are some other very real* names for complicated emotions.
Schadenvaxx - the shameful joy of seeing someone who constantly posts about how dangerous the vaccine is get completely shut down by a doctor in their comments section
Tootenmuten - sadness about not being able to fart during meetings anymore
Nudenface - the feeling of nakedness when outside of your house with no mask on
Missenschmutz - nostalgia for only having to shower once a week
Wichtfrustren - frustration that you gained 20 pounds and the world is reopening just in time for swimsuit season
Wichtfrustrenfrustren - frustration at your frustration that you care you gained 20 pounds because your body survived a freakin’ pandemic and the very least you could do is be nice to it
Autoshocken - the electric terror of getting on the freeway and realizing you’ve forgotten how to drive above 60 mph because you were only driving your car on to the grocery store
Fußchoken - the exquisite pain of wearing impractical shoes again
Silber Und Probst - an idiom describing excitement about seeing your old friends again while experiencing gratitude for the new friends who got you through lockdown, the cast of 40 seasons of Survivor
Hundenpuppenschmerz - a dog’s sadness at an owner returning to the office after working remotely coupled with glee that they can now go back to playing with the toys that come to life when you leave the house
Das Gutflu - the fatigue and chills many feel after their second shot which let you know it’s working!!!
Aufwiederbangst - the feeling of relief when you cut your own bangs and they finally have grown out
Überschreck — the face that you see in the mirror when you are wearing a black smock in salon lighting
Haardreisserangst - the anxiety of going back to the salon where you have to make small talk with the stylist and see das Überschreck
Freundblumen - the symbiotic relationship between your social life and your houseplants: one blossoms while the other withers and dies
*not real
Lauren Davis is a writer, comedian and actor living in Dallas. She is a contributing writer for OhCleo and Emjoy and has been published in Points in Case and 251.net. Lauren is also a stand-up that has appeared on Fox, Hulu and Viceland. She is currently experiencing komödieangst (worrying that performing live again will means she will not have as much time to watch TV).
