QUIZ: WWE Wrestler Or Insurrectionist?

My finishing move is stealing a laptop.

Photo by: Horazio Ramon for Pixabay.

1. I burst through doors and run down a ramp in a blaze of fire and pyrotechnics.
2. I walked up an unfair amount of steps through a sea of Confederate flags.
3. I make my living threatening bodily harm on my most vicious opponents.
4. My “most vicious opponent” is an 80-year-old woman.
5. My finishing move is a leg drop.
6. My finishing move is stealing a laptop.
7. My entrance music is, “No Chance In Hell.”
8. My entrance music is, “No Chance in Jail.”
9. My signature tag line is, “You can’t see me.”
10. My signature tag line is, “You can very easily identify me because I’m not wearing a mask.”
11. I climb the top rope and drop an elbow on your ass.
12. I tried to scale a building and fell in the grass.
13. My President is Vince McMahon.
14. My President endorses the Klan.
15. For 41 years, we’ve been rocking out and having fun.
16. Hopefully, we’ll be left in 2021.

KEY:

Odd: WWE Wrestler

Even: Insurrectionist

Daisy Hobbs is a performer and writer. Her humor writing has been published in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, LOL Comedy and more. She has performed on Broadway, as a sketch performer at UCBTNY and is the creator of the popular musical web series, “OutCast”. www.DaisyHobbs.com Twitter: @DaisyHobbs. IG: DaisyHobbsComedy.