Logo designed by Marlowe Dobbe

Our Most-Read Pieces in March

Alice H. Lahoda
The Belladonna Comedy
5 min readApr 12, 2022

--

Oh hey, Belladonnas! Since the last time we talked, our very own Heidi Lux’s movie, Crushed, came out on Tubi!!! (Holy shit!) Give it a watch — it’s wildly hilarious!

Now on to the news of the week:

TOP 3 MOST-READ PIECES IN MARCH

Quick tip: As always, we encourage you to promote your work on all social media platforms, and we’ll always retweet your links if you if you tag us on Twitter! Now without further ado…

3. Reasons to Shave Your Legs in Winter by Lisa Borders

It’s hard to fantasize about Paul Rudd when your legs look like the Acadia National Forest.

2. How to Write Female Characters: A Guide Written by a Man for Men by Heidi Lux

Who else is going to write female characters? A woman??

1. 6 Comics About Modern Dating by Zena Comics

When I got divorced, I knew that I would eventually dip my toe into online dating. And I expected it to be tough…but I had no idea how bad it would be.

Image by Zena Comics

Here’s what Zena Comics had to say about their wildly popular piece:

1. How does it feel to have the most-read piece in March?!?!

Surprising! I had no idea my comics about dating would resonate with so many people on Medium. A paywall-based platform seems like a tricky nut to crack, but I’m happy to be figuring it out. I really think places like Medium are going to be more of the future of the internet, in terms of compensating creators for their time and ideas.

2. What’s your process for drawing/writing a comic?

To be frank, my process involves asking myself the question, “Where is the bullshit?” There’s usually humor to be found there. Then I jot down random ideas whenever I have them, usually based off of something that’s actively going on in my life. On Sunday evenings, I devote an hour or two to do some writing, trying to shape those ideas into jokes that can be told visually. Then I break up the comic drawing process into manageable pieces (thumbnail, rough sketch, cleaner sketch, inked line-art, color, and final polish), which I try to spread out across Monday through Thursday night (just putting in an hour or two a night, with the longest night on Thursday) so I don’t tire myself out, as I work a pretty demanding full-time job. Finally, I post on Fridays on my Instagram and other social media and hope for the best! If I had less going on, I’d draw more, but one comic a week, plus some Patreon bonuses is about all I can do. Still, I’m pretty happy to have kept up this schedule for over a year now. No one tells you how relentless cartooning can feel, but the fun of landing a joke makes it worth it.

3. In your opinion, what’s the worst dating app pick-up line, and what’s the best thing about being single?

I hate when people hit me up with “hey.” It puts all the burden of the conversation on my shoulders. Ask me a question at least so I have something to work with. The best part of being single is the free time! Creatively and professionally, I’ve never been happier because I really have the time to devote to my different projects.

4. What fictional character from popular media would be the ideal partner?

Kylo Ren? He’s dark and brooding, but also seems like he’d be fine with having his own thing going on? There’s nothing I hate worse than becoming a guy’s sole source of entertainment. I want my independence! So that would be great if he can go battle some Sith lord while I get cracking on the next comic, then join me for a nice Friday evening of fun :)

LAST WEEK ON THE BELLADONNA

Image via BravoTV.com (Fair Use). Edited with Canva PRO.

Quiz: What Is Your Real Housewives Tagline? by Alice H. Lahoda

You may think I’m the clap-back queen, but I’m actually the Devil.

MLB Legal: Ballpark Protocols for Fans Who Are Unhappy/Don’t Know It by K.E. Flann

Based on footage of you standing inert during “The Macarena,” we believe the accommodation is insufficient to solve the problem.

Goshdarnit, When I Was Your Age, I Worked Hard! (So I Could One Day Oppress You) by Laurie Bolewitz

You don’t know the meaning of the word “hard work.” Oh, it’s two words? Well, aren’t you fancy.

Son, It’s Time You Knew How Grandma and Grandpa Died — At Your Gender Reveal Party by Emma Kantor

Parents have “The Talk” with their child.

The Party of Conservative Values Is Having An Orgy And We Want You To Come! by Lisa Cowan

In this one setting and this one setting only, masks are STRONGLY encouraged.

I’m a Pile of Free Dirt on Craigslist, and I Am Enough by Mary Gulino

I am powerful. I am resilient. I am 95% rock-free and perfect for use as fill dirt.

Not Getting Covid is Like Being the Last to Lose Your Virginity in High School by Siena Streiber

You could join in the reindeer games, but why risk having to get tested for strange diseases?

Quiz: Things I’ve Said During Sex Or While Clipping My Cat’s Nails by Caroline

“We’re very brave. Yes we are. Yes we are!”

Inventory of Face Masks Remaining in the Basket on the Table by the Front Door by Lynn Vande Stouwe

Highly flammable mementos of the pandemic.

Madame Bovary’s Money Diary: A Week in France on 8000 Francs in Debt by Yuqi

7 days of expenses from Madame Bovary, a romantic beauty who lives beyond her means in order to escape the boredom of provincial life.

I’m Just a Regular Run-Of-The-Mill Adult Screaming At A Child Selling Girl Scout Cookies by Devorah Blachor and Fiona Taylor

Your cookies are evil, fattening and funding the Soros cabal.

Please Help Me Show My Students How to Make a Fat Wad of Cash by Janelle Blasdel

Together, we can ignite and inspire young minds through the amount of money I make on this one piece of content.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Follow The Belladonna on Twitter and Instagram!

If you’ve been published in The Belladonna before, you can join our Slack Writers’ Room — just email us at thebelladonnacomedy@gmail.com and we’ll add you!

Thanks for reading, and keep being your amazing selves!

--

--