Mr. Darcy, Eat My Shorts
And a very happy birthday to Jane Austen, who can eat my shorts if she wants but is certainly under no obligation to do so.
Reminders:
- THE BELLADONNA IS CLOSING SUBMISSIONS ON SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18 AT 11:59PM EASTERN, so please get your end-of-year pieces in before then! Submissions will reopen on Monday, January 3, 2022 at 12:01am Eastern, and we’ll send a content call out before then.
- On 12/21/21, we will reveal The Belladonna’s Top 21 Most Read Pieces Of 2021! If you had a piece in The Belladonna this year (or any year!), share the link on Twitter and tag @The_Belladonnas so we can retweet.
Finally, in the words of Mr. Darcy (of the Shorts-Eating Darcys): “A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from Last Week On The Belladonna to Editors Explain, from Editors Explain to Our Favorite Movies & TV Shows Of 2021 in a moment.”
LAST WEEK ON THE BELLADONNA
Chatting With Characters by Tracey Berglund
“A rare behind-the-scenes look at famous paintings.”
Virus Seeking Host: The Omicron Variant Sets Up An OkCupid Profile by Lisa Borders
“I’m as horny for you as a frat brother after a six pack of Natty Ice, and equally safe to be around.”
Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Science by Rachel Deutsch
“Here’s a roundup of our favorite additions to the annals of science history.”
We Only Posed With Guns In Our Christmas Photo Because Our Matching Pajamas Shrunk In The Wash by Rochelle Elana Fisher
“It is not ‘bad taste’ to pose with guns just days after the latest school shooting.”
Tenant’s Notice (Taylor’s Version) by Daniella Balarezo
“Dear John (my landlord), Sir, ’Tis the Damn Season.”
Are You In Squid Game Or A Graduate Creative Writing Program? by Becky Mandelbaum
“Terrifying animatronic death statue or girl in your cohort who always has fresh bangs? You tell me.”
LitBit: The “Literary Device” That Shows AND Tells! by Amy L Freeman
“Your writing prayers have been answered. You’re welcome.”
EDITORS EXPLAIN: What is a premise?
When you’re writing satire, it’s important to pick one specific premise and stick to it. A piece works when you have one good premise that you can deconstruct and build upon.
Often we see pieces that try to cover a range of premises — usually because a general topic like, “Halloween At Grad College” is chosen. A multitude of different, unrelated ideas is then written, like “Grad school’s like a haunted house” in one paragraph and suddenly “Some grad students party at the undergrads’ Halloween bash ’cause they wanna feel young and never die!” in the next.
Though those silly ideas are under the umbrella as “Halloween At Grad College,” they aren’t connected. Your reader wouldn’t know what point you’re trying to get across. Are you building on the spooky school inducing your fears? Or how some people go back to school for fun? It’d be much clearer and funnier if the premise was more specific. So something like, “A House of Horrors: MFA Program Themed!” could definitely streamline a piece.
It’s harder to go off topic when you have a tight premise. That’s the trick! You keep building the “funny” on top of that premise, allowing your piece to go somewhere! Make sure your premise isn’t a super narrow or obscure topic though, otherwise there won’t be enough room to build jokes. You’ll end up feeling stuck.
Being funny in satire isn’t about saying “random” things. Stay on topic so that your piece will make a point and, most importantly, make sense to readers!
What was your favorite movie or TV show of 2021?
Ashley Chen: My favorite TV show in 2021 is What We Do In The Shadows. I love those silly vampires.
Emily Kapp: Derry Girls. I’ve rewatched it like 3 times at this point. It’s so class and I’m gonna sob when the final series comes out next year.
Alice H. Lahoda: It’s a tie between two Peacock shows: Rutherford Falls and The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. (Yes, I’m still trying to turn The Belladonna newsletter into a Real Housewives fan club. In the words of Lisa Barlow, “You don’t have to like me, I love myself enough for the both of us.”)
Heidi Lux: Pen15! It made me laugh and cry and cry-laugh and laugh-cry.
Kristen Mulrooney: Jeopardy! and its many guest hosts. I thought David Faber was perfect and Joe Buck was so fun. And I really liked Mayim, until we saw her back to back with Ken Jennings, who is the one true Jeopardy host.
FINAL THOUGHTS
We put together The Belladonna Gift Guide!!! This holiday season, surprise someone with a book by a Belladonna author!
I’ll say it again: THE BELLADONNA IS CLOSING SUBMISSIONS ON SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18 AT 11:59PM EASTERN TIME!!!!!!
Follow The Belladonna on Twitter and Instagram!
And if you’ve been published in The Belladonna before, you can join our Slack Writers’ Room — just email us at thebelladonnacomedy@gmail.com and we’ll add you!
Thanks for reading, and keep being your amazing selves!
— The Belladonna Editors
(Brooke, Fiona, Ashley, Emily, Alice, Heidi, and Kristen)
