Mastering Microsoft Excel When You Called Your Boss The Wrong Name
Turn an embarrassing moment into a technology win!
The workday is full of questions. Did you send that email? How do you use Microsoft Excel? Did your boss David realize when you accidentally called him Dylan, or did he pretend not to hear you so you could save face? Thankfully, we’ve provided a guide to help answer the second question. With your newfound mastery of Excel, you’ll be sure to impress your boss David, because that’s his name. David. Not Dylan.
The first step of using Excel is to make sure your computer is on. This may sound basic, but you just called David the wrong name, so you can’t afford to take chances. While you wait for Excel to load, take a few seconds to vividly relive the conversation. Stare at the aggressive green of the Excel header as you ponder whether or not this verbal slippage will impact your career and/or ruin your entire life.
When you open Excel, you’ll see that each row is marked by a number, while each column is marked by an uppercase letter. A, B, C, D for Dylan- Daniel! Daniel. If you click in a square, called a ‘cell,’ you can type anything you want. Type your boss’s name over and over again to really make it stick.
If you type different letters and numbers into Excel, different things will happen. Got it? Great! Are you imagining the whole thing? Maybe you didn’t actually call him Dylan. Surely he would have said something, right? Use the ‘List’ function in Excel (Data -> Data Validation -> Allow to List) to write out the possibilities. For instance, maybe David had headphones on and didn’t hear you, or his name really is Dylan and you’ve been calling him the wrong name the entire time. Pull up a series of old emails with your boss and check his email signature to assure yourself that this isn’t the case.
When someone gives you an assignment to complete in Excel, remain calm and collected. Sure, you lied on your resume about ‘being proficient in Microsoft Office,’ but nobody needs to know that. You can always enlist the help of an intern, or call your brother-in-law who seems to know a lot about computers. You can also ask your coworker, and while you’re at it, you can ask them whether David has been acting weird by any chance? Is he mad at me? Has he mentioned anything? No? Alright, thanks.
There’s no shame in using YouTube videos to teach yourself Excel, as long as David doesn’t catch you doing that. Keep an eye out for him. In a worst-case scenario, you might be trying to use Excel when you suddenly spot David walking down the hallway towards your desk. Your shoulders tense. You don’t want to stare at him, but when you try to use Excel, your mind goes blank. Which buttons are you supposed to click? Why do your hands feel weird? Is it hot in here?
After a few hours, you realize that the only way to calm your fears is to talk to David head-on. Nothing complicated, just a quick hello so that you know he isn’t angry with you. Take a deep breath, save your Excel file, and walk over to his office. Prepare a meaningless question and knock on the door. When he waves you inside, open the door and smile.
“Hey Daniel!”
Shit!
Mara Macduff is a writer, mashed potato fanatic, and world-renowned athlete (alright, maybe not that last one). You can find her at macduffmara.com or right here on Medium.
