It’s Up To Us, Tasty Twist Pretzels, To Bring Solace to America
How can we turn this global pandemic into an advertising win?
Hello Tasty Twist Pretzel crew!
As you all know, we’re going through some tough times right now. By “we,” I mean our pretzel company, and by “tough times,” I mean we just can’t keep up with demand for our crispy, crunchy snacks! Sales have been way, way up since consumers started stress-eating to cope with their existential dread, so hats off to the team for this big win.
Since I’ve been quarantined here in my Hamptons vacation home, I’ve had lots of time to think. I’ve been asking myself some tough questions, like: What role do our pretzels play in this worldwide crisis? Shouldn’t we, America’s Favorite Twisty Snack™, have something to say in all this?
You know, I recently read something really profound on this subject. It said, “In times of uncertainty, people look to brands for guidance and comfort.” Sure, I read it from my own notebook, where I also wrote it a few seconds before that, but that doesn’t make the statement any less true.
Tasty Twist-ers, it’s up to us to bring solace to America.
Maybe it’s a message about hope. Or coming together. Or even something like: “While you’re avoiding exposure to this deadly #virus, why not share some of our delicious #pretzels with your #QuarantineCrew?” I don’t know, I’m just spitballing here. Not literally though, put those N95s away!
We’ve got a great opportunity in front of us to position ourselves as a company that gets what people are going through, and is committed to advertising to them. Which is why I’m thinking we should change our tagline to Cover Your Mouth With A Handful Of Our Pretzels. I’m not saying our pretzels can be used for protection, but I also don’t think we should rule out the possibility just yet.
Of course, we don’t want to be just another brand changing their logo or making a commercial; we should do something actually useful. That’s why I’ve proposed to the ops team that we shift our production focus from “bags of pretzels” to “empty bags with no pretzels in them at all.” People can repurpose those bags for all kinds of stuff, like shielding their faces or storing other, smaller snacks. As we all know, the bags are mostly empty anyway, so we might as well lean into it.
As the head of a multi-million dollar twisted snack dynasty, it’s not lost on me that we ought to be doing something to help the sick. Why not tell them to bring documentation of their COVID-19 diagnosis to their local grocery store for 19% off a bag of our pretzels? Think of it like a donation, but the kind we still make a profit on. There are obviously some logistical kinks to work out — 19% off may be a little steep — but if we all got in a room and put our heads together, I’m sure we could figure it out!
In conclusion, I want to say that I know some of you must be feeling scared, anxious or afraid. But now is not the time for us to panic. Now is the time for us to capitalize on other people’s panic in order to sell pretzels. It’s like my mother used to say: “Jerry, you should always make the most out of a bad situation.” In times like these, I think we should all remember her wise words, and interpret them loosely to mean “money.”
Sincerely,
Jerry, CMO at Tasty Twist Pretzels
