I’m the Ex-Wife in an Autobiographical Film By Noah Baumbach…
…Writer of Madagascar 3
I wasn’t surprised when our relationship ended. You see, I got in the way of his dream. My very existence implied he would have to choose between me and relentlessly pursuing his dreams. And honestly? My heart just could not bear the tightrope he had tried to walk for so long. He did not take advantage of so many situations where he could have slept with someone for his gain. And now? Well, I am glad he is finally choosing himself and his art over me. As much as I might miss his amazing love-making, the world needs his story. If our relationship had not ended, the world would not have his finest work — Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted.
A part of me always felt like it was missing until my ex-husband came along and showed me his soulful genius. When I met him, I realized I was missing my soul. Without it, I had never understood the world, myself, or art. It was only once I met him that I finally understood art. Art is what can get a lion, zebra, hippo, giraffe, four penguins, two monkeys, and three lemurs through Europe and back to New York City.
You see, I too am an artist — an actor. But, before him, my work was soulless. Sure, it was technically incredibly skilled from years upon years of training but in reality it was completely devoid of feeling. I was so lucky to have found him. When we first began our relationship I would appear in his work… that is before his work featured the undeniable vocal talents of Hollywood bigwigs including Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, and David Schwimmer.
I’ll never match his level of skill. No matter how much I yearn to grow, I lack something. After much reflecting while re-watching the 2013 Russian National Movie Award winner, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, I’ve determined it must be his divine drive. Even after everything we’ve been through, he inspires me. I will never make art as good as the line, “Sonya! I miss you, baby! I miss your stinky kisses!”
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I was a total shell of a person before him. I taught him stuff too. We had what many, specifically my ex-husband, considered an incredibly symbiotic relationship. He taught me everything about the world and I taught him how to place all of his emotional stress on me. This was a crucial development for his art. For humanity. For Marty The Zebra’s character arc.
Sometimes, in frequent moments of weakness, I miss him. I miss my happy place — his brain. A brain so beautiful and rare that it could conjure up the raw truth of the sequel to a sequel. Now, without needing to waste his brain entertaining my eternally unsatisfied ego, he had the time to write, direct, and cast a generous look-a-like of himself in the film you are watching now. But more importantly, had we never separated in 2010, he may never have written Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted in 2012.
Yes, my ex-husband who wrote an ingratiating story about our divorce is not perfect. But I am, and it is important to note this, much less perfect. The only thing that is perfect is Frances McDormand healing her bandaged cronies with her rendition of Non Je Ne Regrette Rien.
Patty Terhune is a Managing Editor at The Belladonna. She is currently writing a live action interpretation of Madagascar so she does not have time for her loved ones. Follow her on Twitter @pattyterhune.
