I’m Having an MFA!
(What To Expect Now That I’m Expecting)
Greetings Friends and Loved Ones,
I have life-changing news to share with you: I’m having an MFA!
I know, I know, I was so undecided for so long, but after years of fantasizing about it, doling out thousands on writers conferences and reading several books, I secretly started applying to programs. Yesterday, after weeks of receiving regular envelopes containing one-page rejections, I opened my mailbox to a legal size envelope with many pages inside. The two-year incubation period begins this fall!
I’m sure some of you are concerned about whether I can handle this on my own, given I’m a single woman in my forties with no savings account to speak of. I realize it’s an expensive and difficult proposition; after all, being an MFA student is a FULL-TIME JOB. But there’s really no convenient time in life to stop and have an MFA, so I’m choosing to believe the universe will provide. The universe, and also several of my credit cards.
You may not see me much for a few years, but some things are simply more important than spin class Saturdays and happy hour at Harry’s, even with their free Sriracha pork sliders. We all make sacrifices for what we love. In the event that I’m able to squeak in some girl time, I’ll likely be sleep-deprived, shuffling around with MFA-brain, locking my keys in my car and forgetting to feed my cat. (Sorry in advance, Mr. Darcy!)
But nay, all is not lost. Thankfully, we can nourish our relationship through the magic of social media. I’ll be sure to post a link to each story I write so you can carefully follow every detail of my progress. I’ll even post it several times, you know, ICYMI ; )
Before I embark on this special journey and bid you my temporary adieu, please do me the honor of attending my MFA Shower next Sunday, 1:00–4:00 pm, my place. It will be a casual affair where we’ll play a few games. You’ll each guess how many books I have on my bookshelf and whoever guesses closest will get, what else, a book! You can pick one from my shelf!
Rather than formally registering, I’ll leave you with these gift ideas:
Cardigans with leather elbow patches
Boxes of wine
Tissues
A standing desk
Vintage eyeglass frames
A new vibrator (No time for a boyfriend!)
5 lb. bags of espresso beans
Under-eye concealer
A beret
Love,
Your favorite soon-to-be holder of her very own MFA!
Kara Vernor’s fiction has appeared in Ninth Letter, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Wigleaf, The Los Angeles Review, and elsewhere. She is the recipient of an Elizabeth George Foundation scholarship, and her fiction chapbook, Because I Wanted to Write You a Pop Song, is available from Split Lip Press.
