I’m a Perfectly Harmless Promotional Balloon

Just a buoyant globe of non-terrifying joy

Audrey Burges
The Belladonna Comedy
3 min readMay 28, 2020

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Photo by Hybrid on Unsplash

Welcome, innocent store visitor! I’m so glad to see you. I’m glad to see you the same way that an anglerfish is glad to see a clownfish who’s trying to find his lost son. Oh, sure, that was the scariest part of Finding Nemo, but don’t worry. I’m just a balloon! A harmless, free balloon.

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Author, THE MINISCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (Berkley 2023); work in McSweeney’s, Belladonna, Slackjaw, & elsewhere. Twitter: @audrey_burges; audreyburges.com.