I Know It’s Crazy But…My Fiance is Also My Best Friend
I’m SO quirky and weird!
I’m sure a lot of you saw the Instagram post of my manicured nails and the gorgeous 5-carat charmander-cut diamond that I recently acquired. But I want to take a second to clear up any questions about the caption “I Said Yes. I Can’t Wait to Marry My Best Friend.” Because I know that I’m usually super-quirky and a huge prankster, but I wasn’t kidding. As crazy at it sounds… Ricky, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with…is my best friend. I know. I’m SO weird.
Ricky and I could not be more excited to mate for life. And when I say mate — I mean mate in every way possible. I mean it in the first mate way because we are steering the ship of life together. In the English way where we hit the pubs and say ‘Oy.’ And in the animal way where we do it like they do on Discovery Channel (episode 4… with the antelopes :P) that ish all OVER our Cincinnati AirBnB during Memorial Day weekend.
To normal people, it probably seems like we’re just really excited to merge finances and file joint tax documents like the rest of married couples. But I’m gonna throw you nincompoops for a loop when I tell you that we’re ALSO emotionally and intellectually compatible in a way that makes us very well suited for a lifetime of conversation about our shared interests, like Vampire Weekend, Jim Carrey Movies, and drinking enough water. This is NOT your average federally recognized union. ‘Cause of the best friends part!
I know you all probably thought we were getting married for ‘conventional’ reasons like a having one emergency contact forever or sharing a TV — but we’re just…not like everyone else, I guess. We have nicknames for each other (I call him ‘Rick’ and he calls me ‘Kiddo’ LOL!) and we get pretty competitive when we play games like MouseTrap and the Simpsons version of Clue. I guess ‘normal’ isn’t really our style. Haha.
We know we’re going against the grain by swearing to love and cherish someone whose company we genuinely enjoy. But our special bond is…I don’t even know how to describe it… we also have inside jokes and do a ton of other buddy stuff. Like bowling and words with friends. Like what other couple even DOES that!?! Just us, I guess.
I truly can’t wait to start our journey together and I’m actually NOT just talking about a lifetime of being each other’s plus-ones at funerals and births and awkwardly defending one another to our families. Or about spending sleepless nights raising children that are going to take all of our money and be angry at us for the majority of their time in our household at the expense of our sanity and sex life. I know that’s probably what ‘marriage’ means to a lot of you. But I feel like you don’t even REALIZE you’re missing out on a relationship with someone who knows that you don’t really like onions that much. Even if they’re caramelized. Like it does change the flavor for sure but enough of the unappealing part is still there that I’m like…still not a huge fan. Ricky knows that about me. I love that he loves me even though I’m such a freak.
When I say ‘I really hit the jackpot with this one’ you may be tempted to think that I just mean Ricky’s classic good looks and stable job that will provide me with health insurance if I become unemployed for any reason — per our legal status as a married couple. Or that I’m talking about that same job’s incredible pension offerings and stock options that become my property on the occasion of our union. Or about the fact that men are statistically more likely to die before their partners, making our joint assets essentially more mine than his technically speaking. Hahaha. I am literally laughing my BOOTY off right now because we’re so WEIRD that we are ALSO for real pals who went to a water park once.
So yeah. I hope you all can make it to our wedding because there will be an open bar and a Psychic/DJ to celebrate our amazing decision to legally bind our lives together but also the CRAZY weird thing about SPECIFICALLY us and our relationship which is that we are also best friends.
Save the Date! 12/13/20
(also add me on Words With Friends: RickysMatex5)
Taylor Kay Phillips is a writer and comedian living in NYC. She has written for Reductress and McSweeney’s. Follow her on Twitter to find out which doors she ran into this week @taykayphillips.
