Donald Trump’s Updated Nursery Rhymes
Tremendous Classics! The BEST!
Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Can’t stop grabbing the girls and making them cry
Don’t they know that when you’re a star, they should let you do anything? When the boys come out to play (Losers!)
Georgie Porgie runs away, saying the girls weren’t 10s anyway.
Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice,
See how they run. They bump into things. Hilarious at parties!
Pre-existing conditions WAY TOO EXPENSIVE to cover. Lousy!
Did you ever see such sad losers in all your life
As three blind mice?
By the way, I never made fun of them. Never!
Meryl Streep is OVER-RATED.
Ring Around the Rosie
Ring around the Rosie
What is this about, some kind of lesbo wedding for fat pigs?
Rosie O’Donnell = A true loser!
No GAY CAKE! As Two Corinthians, 3:17 says
We all fall down!
Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory Dickory Dock
Vlad sent me a pic of his %@*#!
His fingers are bigly
And his oil rigs are hot
Hickory Dickory Dock
All America’s Bridges
All America’s bridges are falling down because
Obama hates the middle class.
My Infrastructure Plan will SAVE AMERICA.
Already creating jobs! Lots of them!
My fair lady aka Miss Universe!!!
Sticks and Stones
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But I know words. I have the best words!
Also, don’t listen to anything Nikita and Anastasia tell you
About the Moscow hotel “showers.”
Dasvidaniya!
Baa Baa Black Sheep
Baa baa black sheep
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
I have a great relationship with the blacks.
Don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise.
Wee Willy Winky
Wee Willy Winky
Runs through the town
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown
I have VERY BIG HANDS and I don’t own a nightgown.
I guarantee there’s no problem. I guarantee you.
Humpty Trumpty
I’ll built a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me!
So Mexico’s pesos will take a great fall
But any hot senoritas with big jugs and long hair
Will be allowed into The Trump Grill for the BEST taco bowls!
Mucho delicious-o!!!
I Love Little Pussy
I love little pussy,
Her coat is so warm
(Bare is better!!)
And if I don’t hurt her,
She’ll do me no harm.
(Like hot mics! Or assault charges!)
So I’ll not grab the pussy,
Nor drive her away,
But pussy and I
Very gently will play
(Editor’s note: I barely had to improve this one.
Definitely a favorite, Are you listening NANCY O’DELL?!)
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Speaking of high-end jewels
Did I mention
Trump Tower owns Tiffany & Co’s
Air rights? Oh, I did?
…Are you impressed?
