Booby Traps Specifically For Virgos

Each one perfectly designed — just as a Virgo would want them to be.

Marissa Maciel
The Belladonna Comedy
3 min readSep 8, 2021

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Photo by Shadab 🦋 from Pexels

· Place a houseplant on a trapdoor with a sign that reads, “Can you identify this plant for me?”

· Send the Virgo a phishing email with the subject line, “A Polite Person Wants To Talk About Books and/or Television With You.”

· Invite the Virgo to a fake seminar titled, “Ways to Clean Everything Using Only Vinegar, Baking Soda, and The Power of Your Mind.”

· Show the Virgo a bunch of important-looking papers, like bank statements and copies of birth certificates, strewn along the side of a dangerous cliff. Shouldn’t someone pick these up, in case someone else needs them? O o o p s.

· Bring the Virgo to a store purportedly selling organizational supplies, but in reality the doors open up to a bottomless pit (which actually would have the same result, if the store really sold organizational supplies, for our Virgo).

· Tell the Virgo you were mildly disappointed in their efforts with their last project, then wait.

· Install in the Virgo’s home a countertop which has a dark, mottled pattern that always looks dirty, no matter the angle you look at it. The Virgo will perish from madness and/or worn out shoulders from trying…

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Writer, Illustrator. Work in Points in Case, Weekly Humorist, Entropy Magazine, New Yorker Tiny Shouts, McSweeney’s, and more! All work -> marissamaciel.com