Back In My Day, TiK ToK Was A Ke$ha Song
Now look at you kids, wasting your time with West Elm Calebs and seamless transitions. Not me, though. I just complain about the youths on Twitter and watch thousands of my brain cells disappear forever with each new round of discourse.
LAST WEEK ON THE BELLADONNA
Write What You Know™! We ALL Have Tales to Tell! by Elise Seyfried
Don’t be afraid to capture the “humdrum” of your lives.
I Lost Weight Through Diet, Exercise, And Attaching a Fat-Sucking Parasite to My Belly by Libby Marshall
Remember, the first seven pounds you lose are blood weight!
Too Many Women Are Gathering Without Me, A Normal Nice Man by Cassie Soliday
Don’t they know I’m one of the good ones?
An Update From MIT’s Very Desperate Color Lab Director by McKayley Gourley & Madeline Goetz
This color suitably dubbed Cat Caller Crimson says, “Smile more!” We can’t get it to stop.
I Am The Bohemian-Hipster Goddess Anthropologie And I Absolutely Did Not Steal That Design! by Lily Hirsch
But either way, you know you can’t resist me.
There’s Nothing Wrong With Me Showing Up Sick As A Dog Because This Isn’t Covid by Rochelle Elana Fisher
Don’t worry, it’s just Flurona.
From the Personal Papers of Susan Sontag: “Cancer Fantasies and Metaphors That Are Actually Fine” by Kasia Kalinowska
Notes from the scrapped tenth chapter of Illness as Metaphor
EDITORS EXPLAIN: Monologues
Monologues are a popular format for satire, and they can be really effective when shaping your character’s voice and POV! However, here are some things you’ll want to avoid when writing a monologue:
Avoid rants! Even if your character has a feistier disposition, or your premise is really trying to convince readers of a certain angle, monologues that border on rants can feel more tired than funny.
Rants can stifle the satirical angle of a piece, and make a piece come off as more angry than funny. It’s okay to have an angry POV, but it’s important to also make sure that the jokes are in there and not 100% complaints.
When it comes to the monologue speaker, make sure you’re shaping your character’s personality and POV within the monologue! Giving your speaker character can even help you set up punchier jokes that align with the speaker’s personality/POV/etc.
Next: make sure your monologue is going places! Monologues often border on just talking and rambling. Make sure that you’re moving your piece along by heightening and having them address something that transcends the premise of the piece into something different, or wackier.
TL;DR: Get in, be funny, and get out. And on that note, this monologue is complete.
FINAL THOUGHTS
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Thanks for reading, and keep being your amazing selves!
— The Belladonna Editors
(Brooke, Fiona, Ashley, Emily, Alice, Heidi, and Kristen)
