Ask Your Doctor About Roseannebien®
Roseannebien is not covered by major insurance providers, but is covered by Fox News.
This story was co-written by Michele Minehart and Brooke Preston.
Do you live in constant fear that someone will take away your privilege by demanding equality and justice? Does the idea of tolerance cause you restless, sleepless nights, with recurring thoughts that underrepresented minorities may possess a talent that is equal or greater than your own?
Put your xenophobic fears to rest, with Roseannebien®.
With Roseannebien, you can freely participate in the activities you love, like dehumanization, and maintain an active lifestyle. And with Roseannebein, you can freely escalate your fears by verbally attacking individuals without feeling the sense of shame and embarrassment that normal human beings experience.
You’ll notice an immediate difference with Roseannebien: after just one dose, you’ll feel the relief as the racist thoughts and opinions suddenly flow freely from your mouth. Roseannebien was reformulated in 2016 to feel 200 percent more potent; to be clear, the active ingredient hasn’t changed, it’s just much more out in the open about what’s really been inside all along.
Those under the influence of Roseannebien should not operate motor vehicles or personal communication devices with social media accounts.
Side effects may include:
-Nauseating comments
-Tone-deafness
-Tweet sweats
-Diarrhea of the mouth
-Confusion on what year or even century it is
-Blurred morals
-Meme exhaustion
-Night racism
-Day racism
-Temporary or permanent unemployment
Those who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not use Roseannebien. The baby could grow up to love someone from a different race and the product would cause considerable relational damage.
Ask your doctor if being a known racist with a TV show is right for you. If he or she says yes, your doctor is also a racist.
Put your xenophobic fears to rest, with Roseannebien.
Michele Minehart is a writer based in northwest Ohio. She has written for Relevant.com and her blog, micheleminehart.com. Follow her on Twitter at @mwminehart.
Brooke Preston is a comedy writer, co-founder of The Belladonna, and faculty member at The Second City. Her first humor book — co-written with her fellow Belladonna editors — New Erotica for Feminists (which you can pre-order HERE) will be released in November on Plume Books, a division of Penguin Random House.
