A Preparation Timeline for Your Virtual Thanksgiving
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and … oh, oh no, virtual Thanksgiving is still so sad.
Usually people spend Thanksgiving gathered with family and friends, but this year, due to COVID-19, many people will celebrate over video conference. Here’s a timeline and guide to preparing for your virtual feast.
2 months before: Start worrying about Thanksgiving
Think about Thanksgiving a little bit, then stop because the idea looking at a screen and waving to your family on Thanksgiving feels so painfully sad, it’s like looking at the sun.
6 weeks before: Try to envision Thanksgiving again
Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and … oh, oh no, virtual Thanksgiving is still so sad. Instead, pretend that Thanksgiving is not happening this year and think about Christmas or New Years instead. Actually, nevermind.
1 month before: Accept that you’re having Thanksgiving over video conference
Call your parents to float the idea. Maybe your sister, her husband, and their toddler can join, all the way from Seattle. Wait, maybe your aunt and your cousin can join from New Hampshire, too! Realize there might be an upside to a virtual Thanksgiving — people in different places can be together at the same time, without the hassle of travel. Feel bad that you thought of an upside to a virtual Thanksgiving.
3 weeks before: Choose your platform
Will it be Zoom, FaceTime, Google Meet, or Microsoft Teams, through your work account? Poll your family to see what they would prefer and hope they don’t want Microsoft Teams.
2 weeks before: Parent onboarding
Create a Google Slides presentation introducing your parents to Zoom, if that is the platform your family has chosen. Hopefully it is. If your family chose Microsoft Teams, please prepare for a bleak Thanksgiving in which each family member is lost inside their own Teams channel, unable to find connection and meaning.
10 days before: Choose a host
This year, you could host for the first time, like a grown-up! All you have to do is set up the Zoom meeting and send invitations. Your apartment is too small to host your family in person, but on a Zoom call, you can host so many people! Regret that you have seen another benefit to having Thanksgiving on your computer.
1 week before: Plan the menu
Think about whether everyone who attends your Thanksgiving video conference needs to eat the same food, even though you will be in different states. Decide that everyone should have turkey on their plate, at least. Other than that, people can have whatever they want, which sounds pretty good. Oh god. Try to think about aspects of in-person Thanksgiving that you like, but not too much, because then you will feel sad again.
4 days before: Prepare your turkey
You fear roasting a turkey for the first time by yourself, so instead, scan the prepared food section of the grocery store for a meal called “Thanksgiving for One.” Think to yourself three times, “Even though I am buying this meal, I have friends and a community.”
2 days before: Put up decorations
Create a fun napkin ring for your paper towel out of pipe cleaners, acorns, and leaves. Then see if you can make everyone’s Zoom display name be in cursive. If your family selected Microsoft Teams as your Thanksgiving platform, you don’t need to add decorations because your family clearly wanted the stark, desolate, lunar landscape of Microsoft Teams.
1 day before: Make a seating plan
Will you sit at the chair that you usually sit in for meals, or the other chair?
Thanksgiving Day: Don’t stress!
At 4:30 p.m., warmly welcome each family member as they join the Thanksgiving meeting from the Zoom “waiting room.” Share the screen with your Thanksgiving slideshow, which features drawings you made of corn, a cornucopia, and pinecones.
When conversation begins, feel heat rising in your chest as you struggle to advance the slides and also spotlight each speaker so everyone can see who is talking. Wonder if hosting Thanksgiving on Zoom is almost as stressful as hosting it in person.
Announce that everyone should bring their plates of food to the screen and eat heartily in front of each other, microphones capturing the sound of every mouthful. Wish you were having some of your cousin’s roasted brussels sprouts with pancetta instead of soft, cubed carrots.
Realize you all forgot to say what you’re grateful for. In between bites, say that you’re grateful to be alive, to have food, and to be together, even if it’s on a screen.
Kerry Elson is a teacher and writer in New York City. See more of her work at kerryelson.org.
