PinnedEmily KlinginThe Belladonna ComedyWhat He Means When He Says He Doesn’t Like CatsWhen he says: There’s something creepy about cats. He means: I hate cats and that hatred is rooted in deep seated, unexamined misogyny.·2 min read·Oct 29, 2022--72--72
PinnedEmily KlinginSlackjawWhat I Said To My Boyfriend During A Fight Vs. What I Said One Hour Before His TherapyI shouldn’t have to tell you why I’m upset because you should already know why I’m upset.·3 min read·Nov 17, 2022--6--6
Emily KlinginSlackjawA Member Of The Donner Party Responds To It Being Called A “Party”Even considering how terrible our parties were in 1846, no one would have mistaken our situation for a shindig.·4 min read·Dec 18, 2023--3--3
Emily KlinginSlackjawThe “Choose Life” Trainspotting Monologue With Additions From My MomChoose a family. Seriously. Would it kill you to spend a little less time on your screenplay and a little more time trying to meet…·3 min read·Oct 10, 2023--2--2
Emily KlinginThe Belladonna ComedyIt’s Way Too Hot; I Promise I’ll Never Complain About The Cold Ever AgainI’m a #WinterPerson from here on out.·3 min read·Aug 18, 2023--1--1
Emily KlinginSlackjawWelcome To Our Fancy Restaurant! Here Are Tonight’s Specials And No, You May Not Know Their PriceI will take these prices to my grave, and by grave, I mean the end of the meal·4 min read·May 18, 2023--4--4
Emily KlinginThe Belladonna ComedyThe People My Fiancé and I Must Invite To Our Wedding, According To My ParentsMy parents’ dentist: “She’s known you since before you had braces. That’s longer than you’ve known your fiancé!”·2 min read·Sep 27, 2022--9--9
Emily KlinginSlackjawA Timeline Of My Thoughts In The One Hour After I Leave A PartyEverything went really well, except for that awkward thing I said.·3 min read·Jul 26, 2022--14--14
Emily KlinginThe Belladonna ComedyWelcome to Body By SisyphusYou are HERE, you are PRESENT, and you are NEVER LEAVING·3 min read·May 24, 2022--2--2
Emily KlinginThe Belladonna ComedyHappy Mother’s Day From the Supreme Court That Doesn’t Believe Women Should Have A Choice In…Here’s a gift for this special holiday.·2 min read·May 6, 2022--1--1